Dealing with infertility in a society of fertile people

It’s a one-lifetime moment, characterized with a serene atmosphere and an exquisite feeling of unexplainable jubilations yet suddenly, the pressure inside starts gradually surging:  expectation! As newly-weds start anticipating their first baby, little do they know that it will never be, as such, is infertility.  Infertility is shrouded in mystery and stigma, and it takes a lot of courage to overcome childlessness in a society full of childbirths to the extent that the former, is equated to abnormality.

After several importune trials of falling pregnant, couples especially women decide taking on a doctor’s hand in the matter. The sorrowful result is that each treatment comes with it, fresh disappointment. A lot of operations and anticipations characterize these dark hours and finally, the faint hearted relinquish the quest. “When you are in the doctor’s waiting room, people ignore each other; patients read or get lost in thought:” Rita Sembuya, founder of Joyce Fertility Support Centre narrates.

At Mulago Referral Hospital, the situation is not different. A lot of people are very reluctant to talk about infertility, to the extent that some may compel you to lie that you’re like them in order to connect. But why is it like that? Statistical data about Ugandan women, place them amongst the most fertile in the world-with up to 7 children per woman. So the question is how can one address such a serious issue in a society which deems it infamous?

The magnitude of the matter is so wide, that even government and international donors will leave you to eat the dirt! In fact, if an infertile lady wakes up to this cause, the only reply given to her will be a question of why she is not concerned about adopting, of all the malnourished, orphaned babies and street children who punctuate the description of the Ugandan streets.

Infertility stigma is very deadly, because it thrives on loneliness and isolation. Many women suffer the pain of guilt because babies are traditionally associated with women. The aspect of pregnancy is an overt female thing and men will only wait to be told
“I am pregnant, you’re the father or it’s a boy/girl.” So if there is none, the finger will always be pointed on the woman.

What will a barren woman talk about, in her female circles if she has no children? Most of their conversations rotate about child birth experiences and families. Arguably, she will feel incomplete and dead inside.  Nevertheless, there exists a number of ways to guard fertility which include:- protection from sexually transmitted disease, do away with abortions, seek proper medical information before subjecting yourself to operations, have regular checkups and make trips to gynecologists.

The best thing a man will do for his woman is to love, stand up for and be her shield in these trying times. The only solution for this matter is intense communication between couples so as reach working decisions about their matter and nothing more.